Week 25 – Loneliness

108_lonelinessOn Monday morning – the day after the last webinar- I went out for a walk.

I walked one hour. Alone.
I was tired because the webinar ended late in the night (European time) but I wanted to watch until the very end. And as you know, it was epic!
During my promenade I observed, looking around like a tourist…Everything seemed new.
I felt a deep sense of satisfaction…which is extremely rare for me.
I realized that I did the MK course from the beginning until the end. 
I didn’t give up.

On Monday afternoon I sat for 15 minutes, still. Alone.
This is the most challenging exercise for me.
I felt a deep sense of lightness…which is quite rare for me.
I realized that sitting is not a habit yet, but it is becoming more common than before, my will has changed.

During the week I kept feeling satisfied, light and lonely.
Especially lonely.
I profoundly realized what ‘The Hero’s Journey’ means.

At this point it is not possible to stop or to go back, so I decided to embrace this sense of loneliness, to leverage it and take a step forward.

It sounds a bit melodramatic doesn’t it?
Not anymore 😉

I will laugh at the world. 
And with my laughter all things will be reduced to their proper size.
(Og Mandino)

106_loneliness#grazie

Advertisements

Week 24 – Vincent

104_vincentEverybody knows the painter Vincent Van Gogh, his paintings are exposed in the most prestigious museums around the world. Together with Picasso’s paintings, they are the most expensive ever.

Last weekend my partner offered me a trip to Amsterdam to visit the Van Gogh Museum.
For me it was like a dream becoming true.
I knew Vincent Van Gogh’s story fairly well but seeing the ensemble of his works was really surprising.
Yes, because he has painted around 900 paintings but only just one of them has been sold during his entire life.

In the big hall of this magnificent museum I asked myself: does persistence make sense? Vincent gave everything but he had no recognition…

There was a video at the Museum showing his tomb in Auvers-sur-Oise where all kind of people visit him, bringing flowers, kind messages and saying thank you.
In front of the screen I asked myself again: does persistence make sense? Vincent gave everything, he had recognition post mortem, well, too late.

Then I went to the museum shop and I saw something really unexpected.
Between the amount of gadgets and silly staff decorated with Van Gogh’s patterns there were some chips bags. On the bags the painting ‘The potato eaters’ was printed, which is one of Van Gogh’s most crucial paintings, it describes the dignity of a poor family sitting around a table at dinner time. They had just some potato to eat.
I repeated the question for the third time: does persistence make sense? If the result is a complete lack of respect even in the temple of Vincent’s art??

I was really confused.

In the afternoon I went to visit a factory that made houses of cardboard and wood.
Two workers were busy on one prototype. One of them explained pros and cons of the project.
This guy looked exactly like Vincent Van Gogh. Same eyes, same hair, same beard…The Young Van Gogh I would say.

I decided that Vincent in person wanted to assure me that his soul and heritage is still alive and present, through the persistence of each of us, and not through doubts and questions, but through concrete actions and beautiful thoughts…as his precious paintings.
And finally I felt fine.
#blueness

So long as there is breath in me, that long will I persist. For now I know one of the greatest principles of success; if I persist long enough I will win. Og Mandino
103_vincent
Vincent Van Gogh Self-Portrait, 1887, Art Institute of Chicago

SERVICE COMMUNICATION

DUE OF PROCRASTINATION ISSUES THERE IS A HUGE DELAY ON THIS BLOG…
WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF FIXING IT.
THANKS FOR YOU COMPREHENSION AND SUPPORT.
________________________________________________________

I know, I am late with my blog.
I am procrastinating. Yes I am.
But I am not doing nothing.

I had a difficult moment, I asked my self several times if the MK made sense.
I fought my self with ‘specialized knowledge’: I felt stupid, naïve, a looser…
I fed my old blueprint with the most delicious junk food.

But I never, never stopped holding my compass in my hand, even when I felt stupid, naïve and a looser.
Because I just couldn’t abandon my (future) self.

If I feel depressed, I will sing.
If I feel sad, I will laugh.
If I feel ill, I will double my labor.
If I feel fear, I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior, I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain, I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty, I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent, I will remember past success.
If I feel insignificant, I will remember my goals.
Scroll VI – Og Mandino

So now, back on track, I have some work to do.
FullSizeRender-1Tonight I am going to the opening of my art exhibition in Brussels, I made all the paintings during the MK program, there is a lot of this wonderful journey inside of my work.

Many thanks for inspiring me to:
Erwin, Renata, Chiara, Mark, Davene, all of the MK members and all of my friends.
#grazie❤
http://www.galerie-mariedemange.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/CP-anna-pIratti.pdf

Week 20 – Fitness

96_fitnessI was invited together with 25 relatives to my 80 years old uncle’s birthday
This might seem a great opportunity to connect with people that you haven’t seen for decades, to hug each other, to toast and to celebrate an important event.
Yes, but this was not a fairy tale, this was THE family.
There were people who do not speak to each other intentionally and who don’t even look at each other because of family matters, since ages.

Well, I am not at war with anyone, so…I don’t know – and I don’t want to know – HOW, but I was sitting +++between+++ two opposing factions as if I was a pillow between two stones.

The lunch took 6 hours…
I spoke alternatively 15 min on my left and 15 min on my right. Or better, I just listened because my relatives aren’t used to ask ‘how are you’, they are more focused on ‘how they are’.

At one point I felt as if I was in a David Lynch movie: everything seemed unreal, dreamlike, I expected a voice from outside saying: stop! That’s OK!

But this was the reality: I was smiling at everybody and I was having an opinion on everybody at the same time.

I felt guilty for this dualism, I felt afraid of the anger inside myself, I felt unworthy because of these feelings towards members of my own family, but especially I felt hurt.
I thought that my family was treating me like a pillow. Since a very long time.
Ummm…
92_firnessRené Magritte – Les Idées Claires – 1958

‘Ok, I am observing, good’. I thought after a quite intense and silent brainstorm (literally speaking)
‘Now, Anna-the-pillow, inside of you there is fear, guilt, anger, the feeling of being hurt, the feeling of unworthiness and much more, which is pretty heavy for a pillow. Yes?’

Yes.

When I arrived home I was devastated, I had pain everywhere in my body, mental lactic acid for sure!
I realized, with relief and an ironic smile, that for 6 hours I worked on the MKS with the greatest trainers ever.
Happy Birthday uncle!

#grazieadiocheèandata
93_fitness
René Magritte – Le Faux Miroir – 1928

Week 19 – Details

91_details

I have always loved details.

I can remember exactly what my best friend Mirna was wearing when, at age 19, we met in the city center and took the bus for a legendary camping week-end at the seaside.
I can remember the severe look of my teacher of philosophy when he said slowly ‘brava Piratti’ for the very first time.
I can remember the white, delicate, tapered hands of my mild uncle Luigi when I was 8 and he gave me a board game. I remember the precise moment and the precise place, the season, the temperature, the light, everything.
I can remember a dog, behind a window, looking at the street as a Gentleman, just in front of the tram stop. Sometimes I think of him and I hope he is doing well.
I can remember – among others- the eyes of one of my students, 13 years old: a look full of trust and inspiration. Unforgettable.
And so on…
There is a server of details in my mind. Words, colours, shapes, perfumes, looks, gestures, instants…I mix these ingredients to make my creative job as productive as possible.

But it is not so easy.

Last week I asked myself:
Are you able to sell this, hem… fortune?
Are you really able to be the greatest salesman in the word?
What do you offer…DETAILS?? Words? Colours? Shapes? Perfumes? Looks? Gestures? Instants?

And before I could answer, a black, deep, thick shadow fell over me and I felt like dying.
87_detailsI was paralyzed. I did nothing for several days. I broke the rhythm. I let myself go down and down and down.

Since that moment a detail called me back.
It was a simple phrase, written on a street sign, between hundreds of urban details.

J’existe


I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to Erwin for his loving❤presence, to Renata for her messages (https://masterkeyrenata.wordpress.com), to Chiara for her listening (http://chiaracapello.com/master-key/)and to the cat Chanel for her delicacy.
Dank je, hvala, grazie, merci
#MKMMA

Week 18 – Balance

84_bohI am able to look at a drop of black colour, which fell by chance on the floor, and imagine an egg of a beautiful bird in perfect balance on a liane.

But I am not able to look at my Movie Poster with full faith or read my DMP and believe that everything I desire is going to happen.

That is what I feel now, my uniqueness is unable to transform my dreams in my reality…
#tristezza
86_boh

Week17HJ-The Voice

79_thevoiceThe great Maria Callas

It is so comfortable, sometimes, to feel like a victim: being deeply misunderstood, listening to melancholy music in my pyjamas, eating chips…ummmm. Humbly, I can do it very well.
Mostly I feel like a victim compared to others (those that I should love and respect and attract to me for being successful,ha!).

On Tuesday I went for dinner at my friend’s place. She wanted to introduce me to an opera singer because she knew I was looking for an artist like him for one of my projects. I went to my friend’s place charged with expectations and curiosity. But…other friends where also invited who were only interested in eating and chatting (‘only’ is not an adverb here, it is an opinion!).
Without bad intentions, these other friends interrupted me every time I tried to ask a question to the singer, and interrupted the singer when he tried to answer me… At one point I felt so irritated that I clearly saw my soul listening to melancholy music in her pyjamas, eating chips…No no nooo! This is the week of discipline for me, ‘be disciplined!’ I said to her (my soul).

And there I heard my voice asking
Fabio would you mind stepping out on the terrace so we can chat quietly?’
‘Of course!’ he replied.

I know this seems logical, but imagine… We were all sitting around the table (Italian dinner ok?), I cut the atmosphere, changed the balance, and gave myself permission to do what I wanted to do.
Everybody survived this ‘cut’ excellently , but for a superBLUE like me it was challenging, you know, I was nearly ‘dressed in pyjamas’…
81_thevoice
After my conversation on the terrace the singer wanted to demonstrate some arias to me and started singing a cappella.

My inner voice  – whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy – joined him in a wonderful duet, while everybody stopped chatting and started listening.

I am nature’s greatest miracle. And nature knows not defeat. Eventually, she emerges victorious and so will I, and with each victory the next struggle becomes less difficult. I will win, and I will become a great salesman, for I am unique. I am nature’s greatest miracle.
Og. Mandino

Many thanks to ♥Erwin♥ to help me with English.
‘Tramontate stelle, all’alba vincerò’